favor.

In my recent study of scripture, I have taken note of five groups of people that arouse the mercy and stir the compassion of God. The first and foremost being the sinner, which includes all of humanity.


The following four hold my focus here in Zambia: the child, the fatherless, the widow, and the alien or foreigner.

Let the little children come to me, do not get in their way.

Be disciples. Give them a refreshing drink in my name. Do not deprive the alien or the fatherless of justice, or take the cloak of the widow as a pledge. A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows is God in his holy dwelling. His heart is undeniable.

Matthew 10:42 Psalm 68:5 Deuteronomy 24:17 Matthew 19:14

And all of these ponderings also come to mind when I think about what happened last night.

I struggle so inherently with the idea of being provided for. Instead of trusting, I beat myself up for not having a career with an income.

I worry that the money will run out, that I will be stuck here in Zambia without means to live.

I wonder if one day this world and the people in it, that constantly tell me that I can't survive by doing work for the Lord, will be proved right.

I wonder if our month-to-month living will one day see the last payment of a faithful supporter.

But more than that, I fail to see God as a faithful supporter.

Even in my untrusting, unbelieving, and anxious heart, He blows me away.

Whatever I need, it's there two-fold with a little extra on the side.

Last night when I skyped my family, I was informed of a hefty blessing.

This blessing was not placed in my hands, but in my bank account.
Without naming any names, an angel handed my mother an envelope with $2,000 cash in it. That is a sum of money that fits into the miracle category for me.

What could it be for? I'm sure I will find out.

I always wonder.

I wonder "Why me?".
Why do You speak to me?
Why do You show me your secrets?
Why do You answer every request I lay at your feet?
And why do You do it so promptly?
Why do You protect me from evil?
Why do You even pay attention to the smallest of details and bless me in those as well?
Why does your divine favor absolutely drown me?

It could be just because He's that good.

It could be just because as He gazed upon me, His compassion and mercy were aroused.
Because I'm just a child, His child.
Because He is my Father.
Because I am a foreigner in a strange land.
Because he is that good, not in general but to me, Mary Leslie...

Today, I'm just dancing in His divine favor. Not questioning, just trusting.